A BIG WAKE UP CALL
Well today isn't off to a good start so far. This morning I find out that one of my better friends died. He was a victum of the speed that he let become such a part of his life. He had been in the hospital for a bad case of pnemonia from smoking crystal. It was kind of a rude awakening. Then about two hours after I find out my (girlfriend?) calls me and tells me about it so I think that today is going to be the day that I man up and tell her it's either me or meth she can't have bolth. If she chooses the meth then so be it. It will hurt but I will survive. I'm not going to sit back and know that she is still with me and out killing herself slowly withan obsticle that I have already overcome that it isn't that she can't it's that she doesn't want to quit and move on with her life!!
posted by Mr. Math @ 1:25 PM
WELL...
2 comments
2 Comments:
Yes...a message was sent to you, sadly resulting in the death of your friend, and you are reading the message loud and clear. Remember, you don't have confidence and THEN take risks. You take risks and that BUILDS your confidence. So many think it works the other way around. They want to have insurance that something will work out BEFORE the risk. It doesn't work that way. Take the risk, that means getting out of your COMFORT zone, and you will build the confidence. Yes, a rude awakening indeed. Don't let your friends death be in vain. Let it be a reminder. Let his death stand for something. Take the risk. Be strong. Yes, you may cry, that's not weakness. Not doing the right thing - THAT my good friend, is being weak. I can't believe how intelligent you are. You know so much you're just afraid to use it because you're so much more mature than others your age. You see things they cannot see right now. It's hard isn't it? Yes, you will survive and you will earn respect, for yourself and from others. You can love someone and not be with them. YOu can love someone and not agree with their behavior. I divorced a man, not because I didn't love him. I did. But, he was drinking. And he's get abusive when he drank. Did he do it everyday? No. But, even if he did it once every 4 months (which was pretty much the pattern) it was too much. I had to pack up two babies and leave, no where to go, no money, I moved to Los Angeles where I knew no one but knew I could get a job in a city. It was so hard. I cried everyday for a year. But, I did it. My kids respect me for it and it was worth earning their respect. You sure are earning mine. I'll be thinking of you today. My sister is also a meth addict. She's had her kids taken away twice and is still using. Meth is bad. VERY BAD. I did it a million years ago (in my 20's) and it was different then. We didn't smoke the stuff. BUT, I know - I know what I'm talking about here. I'm not some old lady who is saying "just say NO." I say just say NO, because I know. You've now seen what it can do. Me too. My best friend committed suicide. Murdered her 6 year old daughter who was named after me, Terri Lynn. All under the influence. You know your friend? This girl? YOu just might save her life by breaking her heart. Does that make sense?
PS: I'm very very sorry about your friend. My sister is in and out of the hospital all the time with "asthma." Yea, right. But, she won't stop smoking the shit. I want to strangle her. And, look at all she's risking. Two beautiful kids. Her oldest she "lost" a long long time ago. He hates his mother. And now she's repeating the same thing with her 7 and 10 year olds. How sad is that. I do what I can but still, she won't stop until she kills herself. She had 8 years clean at one time but went back. I can't tell you how many tears I've cried over her and the situation but I can't fix it. I learned that. You can't fix someone else who is under the influence. You know that too right? You had to do it yourself. Make that decision yourself. So will she. I will keep her in my heart and hope and pray she "gets it" before it's too late. I'm glad you did.
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