Two for tuesdays?
Here we are and I still havent reached much of a conclusion. Another day has past and now I'm even more unsure than I was yesterday. I havent gotten much of anywhere as far as decision making is concerned but I did figure something out. If I know that I'm going to sleep on something I avoid sleep as long as possible. Yes it's my way of running away from whats on my mind. I think that today I should get together with her and really talk even deeper into how I feel and where is it going to go. I dread this because I know that it will end in tears but also crave it as a way to get some more loose ends tied up that I could trip over. So ohh boy maybe I'll reduce myself to a quivering crying lump later. So maybe I should enjoy my last few hours of being a manly man not a crying lump. I think it takes more of a man to be able to cry so maybe I'll be more of a man by the end of the day
posted by Mr. Math @ 9:38 AM
WELL...
3 comments
3 Comments:
I think so too, D. Go get'em, and keep up such clear and rational thoughts and putting them down on blog, I love getting to watch you think!
Crying lumps are way cooler than 'manly men'! :o)
"loose ends tied up that I could trip over"
That btw, is a great sentence. You should keep it in a writing journal. I keep a journal that's maybe not pages and pages like a diary but sometimes just recording single words or phrases I like. The above sentence is excellent. I like it a lot. Oh and one more thing, remember, you are setting the time schedule here. You don't have to make "THE DECISION" today or tomorrow although it sounds like you'd like to just to move on and get focused - which, I admire greatly. Also, my husband went to West Point and was in the 82nd airborne and he cries. It's not a measure of a man. Maybe in juvie with a bunch of immature teenagers. But, out here in the REAL WORLD crying is not a sign a weakness. It's a sign that you're a sensitive human being. An adult that cares about yourself and others. You're a person who feels greatly and deeply. There's nothing weak about that. That takes great strength. It would be easy to go through life not feeling and many men choose that because they are not strong enough to feel. You are. IT's a sign of strength. Not weakness.
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