Now or later
Yes I have spent another day not making any decision about what I am going to do with my relationship with myexgirlfriend?Preset girl? I still don't really have a clue on what to do or maybe I do and I just dont want to do it. I think that it is the latter of the two. I just don't really know how to tell her that she either has to quit the drugs or lose me. I don't really want to take the chance of losing her but that is how life is sometimes it can hurt to do the right thing. I especially need to do it before I start spending alot of time with her because my PO could drop in and search my house at any time and what if she had something on her that would cause me top violate. Then I would get hurt anyway and be in a potentily wors bind than I would be if I just lay it out there. Well I've gone and done it I started crying just thinking about it. Now I've got to go for now befor I get to curled up into a typing crying lump in front of the computer. I'll let you know how it went tomarrow if I can bring myself to get off my ass.
posted by Mr. Math @ 9:40 PM
WELL...
3 comments
3 Comments:
Hi Daniel it's Taza (aka "anonymous")
I just wanted to say that sometimes even when we know we're making "the right decision" it can still hurt like hell.
You really need to get a job and get used to life again. Put yourself back into work, home, constructive activities, etc. Yes, it sounds boring, but you need to build a stable base from which to make decisions concerning your future direction. (IMHO that is...)
I hope you get the job at Ace Hardware! Much better than flipping burgers!
lots of love
Taza
Yep, you're smart. Real smart. You're sensitive too which is why this can be so hard, but yes, you know the right thing to do and you're afraid. I don't blame you. I wasn't that smart when I was your age and would have tried to "have it all." BIG MISTAKE on my part. I got "smart" but the hard way. Of course having a kid that spent most of his teen years in juvie he's real smart now too (he's 25 now) and primarily because he had a LOT of time to think. Funny, very similar situation with a girl too. He left her. It was hard. He was devastated for a while but he is now a "citizen in good standing" and she's in rehab and a long way from getting things pulled together. I think you should remember, even though you may have to put that relationship off for a while, it doesn't mean it will never work. If there is one thing I've learned it's this: If something is meant to be, it will be. You have to trust in that and have faith. If you are truly "soulmates" and you are meant to be together, you will be. Doing the right thing now will not come between you later. It will make you stronger for later. The sensitivty that makes it so painful will also do you good in other things. It's a good thing to have. Not an easy thing to have, but a good thing. Especially once you learn to trust it. It's telling you something. Hang in there. This too will pass. Lessons in life are not learned by the easy stuff. They are learned by the tough and painful stuff. Really. I promise you that's the way it is. (By the way, the point about your PO is a serious, mature thing to be thinking of and one that shows you are becoming a mature adult - what good will you be to anyone, including her, if you're back in juvie?) Be strong but never stop feeling the feelings.
Have you thought about writing to her? And maybe, just a suggestion here, you could break up with her, but, only in your mind. Wear it around for a few days, see how it feels. I know this is especially hard because your mom is very fond of this girl and that must make things even harder -BUT remember, it's about YOU. No one else. You have to do what's right for you because you are the one who will have to live with the consequenses of this relationship. Also, this girl seems a little emotionally needy and you must, MUST be careful and always, no matter what she says, use protection. My nephew, who lived with me through high school, and is now 22, was told by a girl "the doctor said I can't get pregnant!" Well, guess what? Now his wages are garnished and will be for the next 18 years and in the meantime he's still trying to find out if the baby is his. It's not the first girl who's said "the doctor says I can't get pregnant." Desperate people (even if in their heart they are not BAD people) but remember, desperate people who are trying to cling to something can and will sometimes use desperate measures. You wouldn't be the first young man to end up in a relationship place he doesn't want to be. Be careful. And, there is no birth control that's 100% but I would not trust a girl who says she's on the pill. If I were a guy (and my sons agree) I'd take that responsibility myself.
Post a Comment
<< Home