Back again

I'm back again already. I can't belive how addictive this is it's better than my ex friend crystal meth. So here I sit talking about my life to some people that I don't know and may or may not give a rats ass. So there really isn't much to tell. I'm 17 just got out of jail and definitly need to keep myself busy I've got a brain laying around here somewhere now I've just got to go and find it. Damn I can't seem to remember where I left that brain. Maybe I should try to keep it on a leash. well enough about that escape artist my brain. I've just got so much that I can do that I want to. There are so many choices. I know what I'm not going back to and that is my so called friends drugs. I won't let myself skrew it up again. I got myself into a mess before now I've got to finish working my way out of it. I did my time now it's parole and almost 5grand of restitution so it's almost time for my little vacation of a few days of total freedom to end and call my po and get myself onto the next legof that long climb out of the hole that I managed to dig formyself when I really let my brain turn off. I have a girl that I was with when I got locked up that I don't know what her deal is I haven't really gotten the chance to sit and talk it out. I don't know if I want to I hear she is heavy into the drugs and it showed when I saw her breifly today. I can't even begin to let myself slip twards drugs and the people that use or I could fall right back into it. It's been 3 months 8 days since I did any kind of drug but the urge is still there. I just keep thinking about how much I have to lose if I go back to my old ways. I don't know where I'm really headed I know that if I let myself stop then I'm going to end up in one hell of a mess again and this time I thought I had it bad but it really wasn't shit compared to what I could have gotten. I just want to go back to the old simple way. Didn't have anyone to answer to besides my mom and I couldn't even handle that. I took to much advantage of the times I got let off easy on the "little" stuff that others would have gotten grounded for. I didn't even begin to relize what I had untill I didn't have it anymore. I had to really tell myself to get a life when I decided that just walking through the grocery store was as exiting as going to the amusment park after not being able to and having such a rotine every single day after day after day. Now I'm almost an adult. I passed my GED while I was in there and now I'm preparing to go to college to become a mechanical engineer. Now who would have guessed that I would even make goals like that? I shure as hell didn't a year ago. now I'm actually thinking ahead a little. Yes I'm still a teenager but I'm one thats really starting to get my shit together before it's to late. So close only counts in horse shoes in had gernades so I'm getting myself on the mark to get underway at hitting that target. Now I've go to go the coffie is wearing off so I've got to go and get to bed who knows maybe I'll get up early and make myself use full. So good night for now maybe I'll drop in tomarrow for another fix