I've been sticking to it

I love these eyes

yep I've had alot of those brain farts they are not good

for that special girl

love is lost
or is it found
how do we know
who is the host

life goes on
and then it ends
through the twists
and the bends

I will never give it up
I must know
if I'm sly or if I'm clever

how does love come to bind
how does love give us time
how is love so blind
who is the one to be mine

Here I am yet again

The sad thing is it is only a little post. yeah well it is a good thing to I've been really really busy.

well I love Rachel

I am proud of it and un afraid and still a little nervous

here kitty play with this mouse

cats are weird(sometimes)

this song explains alot

Chorus: DidoMy tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..got out of bed at allThe morning rain clouds up my window..and I can't see at allAnd even if I could it'll all be gray,but your picture on my wallIt reminds me, that it's not so bad,it's not so bad..1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise[Eminem as 'Stan']Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callinI left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottomI sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'emThere probably was a problem at the post office or somethinSometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'embut anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter?My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a fatherIf I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her?I'ma name her BonnieI read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorryI had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want himI know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fanI even got the underground shit that you did with SkamI got a room full of your posters and your pictures manI like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fatAnyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fanThis is Stan{Chorus: Dido}[Eminem as 'Stan']Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chanceI ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer fansIf you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concertyou didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for MatthewThat's my little brother man, he's only six years oldWe waited in the blistering cold for you,four hours and you just said, "No."That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idolHe wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I doI ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied toRemember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write youyou would write back - see I'm just like you in a wayI never knew my father neither;he used to always cheat on my mom and beat herI can relate to what you're saying in your songsso when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em oncause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressedI even got a tattoo of your name across the chestSometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleedsIt's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for meSee everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell itMy girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one doesShe don't know what it was like for people like us growin upYou gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever loseSincerely yours, Stan -- P.S.We should be together too{Chorus: Dido}[Eminem as 'Stan']Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,this'll be the last package I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?I know you got my last two letters;I wrote the addresses on 'em perfectSo this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear itI'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freewayHey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowningbut didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him?That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowningNow it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsyand all I wanted was a lousy letter or a callI hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wallI love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about itYou ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about itAnd when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about itI hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without meSee Slim; {*screaming*} Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunkbut I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like youcause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die tooWell, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge nowOh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?{*car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*}.. {*brief silence*} .. {*LOUD splash*}{Chorus: Dido}[Eminem]Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busyYou said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter thatand here's an autograph for your brother,I wrote it on the Starter capI'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed youDon't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss youBut what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too?I say that shit just clownin dogg,c'mon - how fucked up is you?You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counselingto help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down someAnd what's this shit about us meant to be together?That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each otherI really think you and your girlfriend need each otheror maybe you just need to treat her betterI hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in timebefore you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fineif you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stanwhy are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fanI just don't want you to do some crazy shitI seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sickSome dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridgeand had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kidand in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was toCome to think about, his name was.. it was youDamn!

by Eminem

well life goes on

We are tite for money and I think I am just gonna have to talk to my PO because just about everyone thinks that I don't want my own place that bad but I do.

It will make alot of things better. It will help me quite a bit easyer to see Rachel. Yes I know there are more decisions that help it along. Yes I do think it will make it better for school.

Look

This is sone kind of stuff that needed to be done a long time ago. The enforcers are out there. So those that just go around acting an idiot. You will have to answer to your actions now. Think twice! Or it will be just to late.

yes yes yes

love is so nice and time consuming. so I'll try to really get some blogging done tomorrow

Yes I am

In love with Rachel. So there is a little update more later

I'm in love

yes it is official I am in love more later.

Well Hey there I'm sorry about that and now I will make sure that I don't send anyone over to yours and I will make it up to you. Just tell me how!

Another day...

Well, yes...I know you knew it had been another day...I just had to find something to write. Ok, so...if you're gonna be an administrator on my blog, you've got to abide by my rules. OK???? ok! Be kind, rewind!
I put you back there, but I won't have any problem undoing what I've just done. I don't want my blog on ANYONES homepage! Especially NOT the college! My blog was supposed to be for ME, so that I could write what I thought and felt, without having to worry about what others would think, because nobody saw it. Now, many people have seen it, and I just can't do it anymore. It's almost like a sacred place was violated... My place. There aren't too many things that I feel I have control over in my life right now, and my blog was something that I DID have control over, but now... Anywayz, so...I will end my little post in YOUR blog, and I probably won't write any more on yours, at least for a while. Talk to ya soon Mr. Math...

well

what a day

The darker side

When you can't pick up the peices of what you've thrown away, when you can't face your own reflection. When not even breathing is spontanious anymore, then, you might understand. When darkness gives you light, when hate gives you ease, when anger comforts you, then, you might understand. When secretive reaches an extreame, when lonliness hold you captive in your own mind, when life seems impossible, then you might understand... untill then
by Jamie <--- see her here

Living Senses

It all started with just a day in my yard. It didn’t seem like it was going to be a very eventful day. I was sitting out there so I could do some homework that I really did not have any interest in and thought was quite pointless. So there I was just sitting there with my notebook, trying to get a feel for a paper about how I perceive the world through my senses.

All at once out of the blue it hit me what I was doing. I was going over what I had been feeling and doing for the entirety of my life. So, as I sat there, I just let my mind wander. I found that I could hear the birds singing their little tunes. I could hear the sound of the water trickling in my pond. I could see the goldfish swimming inches from the top of the water with the sun just gleaming off of their orange and silver scares. I could almost feel the slime floating in the pond.

I started to find that the assignment was potentially getting a little interesting. I would just really have to put a little of myself into it. It made me think a little about the person I am and why I have become this person at this particular point in my life. So as I sat there in my quite yard, I could feel the beginning of tranquility. I was lost deep in the thoughts of the day and my current problems and joys.

Next thing I knew, something happened: I was there lost in a daze one minute, and the next second I was ripped back to reality by the sound of screaming sirens. This broke my daze as three cop cars went rushing past my house; Lights flashing, sirens blaring and they were REALLY moving! That was enough to make me really stop, and think of my surroundings, and of how easily the tranquility was shattered. I was then lost in my own reality once again.

My life seemed so empty and inconsequential at that moment that I felt as if a gust of wind were to come by I would be blown away like an old dry dead leaf.

I live out in a little town where nothing very important really ever happens. Everyone seems to know everyone else and what they do and what kind of person they are.
If something happens it is all around before it would ever hit the news. It seems that the small town is too cramped in that there is no room for me anymore. Just that same emptiness that is felt when you are alone on the ocean for days at a time with no outside contact of any kind.

My life seemed so empty and inconsequential at that moment that I felt as if a gust of wind were to come by I would be blown away like an old dry dead leaf My life was so broken by the choices I have made, the problems I have created for myself and the people I have offended.

I began to cry just knowing how much I had been holding in. Life’s realities were so overwhelming but yet so welcomed. I felt like I was never going to find my way out of the corners of my mind that I had found my way into. Then all my tension drained slowly out though my feet. It left me totally exhausted. I went into my house and quickly drifted off to sleep.

Chemistry is

Chemistry is a class I wish I had paid alot closer attention to before. I just saw my grade. 58% that is close to a D so I can still make a comeback. Well we took a quiz today that I had studied for and I got a 35% on it. It was only worth 20 points so it won't hurt my grade to much. Since I didn't pay any attention before I have to really play catch up

It is like math. It all builds on itself. I gotta go I gotta do my homework for english then hopefully do a little chem. If I go back and learn the stuff maybe my quize on thursday will not be all that bad.

I'm off to try to make some head way in the long uphill battle that I created.

chemistry

well I'm failing that class and now I gotta go to it. yes I know here comes someone to help me gotta run

Well... "Well"? Well, well, well, well, well, well, well....etc...

So, I accidentally deleted the other post, so I figured I should at least write another one on here. I don't know how I did it, because I was only going to edit it, and add something to it, but now...it's just...gone...oops! Anyway, basically, the other post said that we're taking a little "break" for two weeks (which won't be that long), and that was pretty much it (I think). Until later in the day (when Mr. Math will post)!!!

Well

I got her a card and some chocolates for V-Day and she came walking up to my truck while I was filling out the card. So I finally told her and ment it that I loved her.

Stolen moment

It is true I got away from my homework for just a moment. I had to have my fix. Today I get to talk to Rachel she should be back tomorrow. I have no clue what to get her for Valentines day. Then right after that her
B-day. I donno I will think of something.

I can't wait till tomorrow. I will get to see her. Yes. I think I have some important news to tell her that I can't just tell her on the phone.

I have to work again today from 3 till 9 tonight. I'm really starting to like my job. One of the cooks is starting to teach me how to cook some more stuff. It is fun and a break between dishes. I have been doing a good job and the boss keeps thanking me. I think that this is great.

I am getting all the more closer to getting my own place and this job looksa liker it is gonna work out for awhile so that is always a good sign. My boss even told me that if I keep it up I will be getting a raise befor to long. I have also been volenteering for all the extra time that he can give me and I will now be alot easyer to get ahold of since my mom and I are going to network our computers as soon as my friend levi comes over and shows us how.

Life is going good school is OK and I may just be in that "L" word. I hope that it turns out. I love the way I feel when I'm with her. It is so foren yet so nice and I just never wanna stop feeling that way.

So now I'm outa here. homework here I come. That way I am not distracted at all when I get to spend time with her tomorrow. Got an hour to work on it till I gotta leave for work.

Another day another dollar or even two

Well here i am after work yet again I donno what the problem is but my laptop is really having a problem getting on the net so I'm back on moms computer for the night. Yes I had to beg and pleed but I needed my blogging fix.

I was there at work but the whole time all I was thinking of was how tomorrow is Sunday and that is when I get to talk to Rachel again. I miss her Really really bad.

We bolth wanna take the time to do this right which is really a good sign. I know that we are both afraid of getting hurt or hurting each other. I am almost totally over my fear of getting hurt. I'm just afraid to hurt her.

I think that even a moment with her is worth 1000 in pain. Yes I knowe that is alot but I do really really care about her and wanna spend time with her.

I have never really felt this way while I was away from someone I cared about. Even when I was away from Dana which I said I loved I was not thinking about and missing her as much as I miss Rachel now.

I know that we have not known each other for that long and that is what I am afraid of more then anything is that we will end up not working out because of that but I am willing to take that chance.

Someone told me not long ago that I am all dreamy and you know what I am and I love the way she makes me feel. Yes I am dreamy but for good cause. I donno what to do next but I will figure it out.

Oh yeah! I am not far from getting my own place. This has all kinds of benifits. More time to do homework, I'll be able to walk to work, I'll always have a ride that is going to my classes because she is in them not because she has to take me, more privacy and most of all it will make it easyer to see Rachel. If I lived in town I would be a heck of alot closer and easyer.

Yes I know I just rambled on and on about nothing of any intrest to anyone but you know what it is my blog. For me. I like what I put and so if you don't piss off!

Yep yep

I am here I just got off of work. I am a dish washer but hey it pays and I kinda like it. Today at work a girl asked me if I was "with Rachel. I told her that I was and it felt great to say it.

It just made me feel all warm and fuzzy to say it. It also hurt a little because I miss her so much. She is in Idaho. A week seems like forever when someone that you have fallen for is away. It just makes me relize how much I care.

I know that it isn't long. Just I think that I really do have true not biased feelings for her. It made my day to know that I was really with Rachel when Mindy asked me if I with her. I could see in her face that she was kinda dissapointed but I know that I really do care bacause I had no trouble just blurting it out that we were together. I didn't really even care to even mask my feelings. I am more and more sure each day that she is the one for me.

This woman

This woman. Rachel she is amazing. I have toitally fallen for her and have no reason to wanna get up. She seems like the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I really hope that I can get this whole thing with getting my own place worked out. It will make it so much easyer to see her. I think it will also make me really appreciate some of the little things I still overlook. I talked to her for a few minutes today and it was enough to totally make my day.

I now know why Carlos Santana said in one of his songs that he would change his life just to better suit his lovers mood. I know that I would do a heck of alot more now then I ever would befor just to make this work.

My feelings increase every day. We are now officially together and I miss her really badly. She is in Idaho. I think that as for most people a week is no time but a week away from this woman seems like all of eternity

This is amazing writting

For Someone Extraordinary

We’re set on firetrapped inside the oven
with a cake baked just for christmas
and a slimy chocolate sauce.

We’re set on ice
locked up in the cooler
with a keg of beer that’s frozen
and a pound of half-dead fish.

We’re set on air
caught up in a vacuum
with all the clouds around us
and a pot of pale blue.

copyright Celly Duritz

Days go by

They go by
Sometimes left
in wonder
I ask why

What is right
what is wrong
why do I stay
and not take flight

Parole is a joke
I still donno why
There was this guy
who offered me coke

I try to
keep it real
I donno
Seems like the devils deal

So I go on
not knowing why
just to live
and to die

So it goes
I'm outa here
Lost in life
sometimes in strife

my paper om ADHD

ADHD
I did my research paper on ADHD. This is an acronym for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I chose this because I personally have been diagnosed with ADHD. This disorder effects between 3 to 7 percent of school age children. It also affects 2 to 4 percent of all adults.
The disorder can have many negative effects. Some of these include inability to pay attention to details, a tendency to make errors in schoolwork or other activities, difficulty with sustained attention in tasks or play activities, apparent listening problems, difficulty following instructions, problems organizing tasks and activities, avoidance or dislike of tasks that require mental effort, tendency to lose things like toys, notebooks or homework, and distractibility and/or forgetfulness.
ADHD is also defined by the following difficulties. Fidgeting or squirming, difficulty remaining seated, excessive running or climbing, difficult playing quietly , always seeming to be on the go, excessive talking, blurting out answers before hearing the full question, difficulty waiting for a turn or in a line and problems with interrupting or intruding.
This disorder use to be thought as only occurring in children. It is now just really being brought into focus that this also occurs in adults.
In adults it may effect there family relationships, romantic relationships and even there work. The side effects of this disorder have destroyed many relationships and complicated others.
ADHD can be treated but it can not be ‘cured’. Some of the treatments include, but are not limited to: Medication and counseling. Some medications seem to really help those with ADHD by reliving the symptoms. This can help them to function with minimal complications from the disorder. Counseling can help them to better organize their thoughts and behavior patterns.
I have learned that for a lot of ADHD patients stimulant medications help a great deal. Stimulant medications fall into three categories, Methylphenidates, which include Ritalin, Concerta, Methadate, and Focalin. Next are the mixed salts of a single entity amphetamine product which include Adderall and Adderall XR. Last there the dexatroamphetamines which include Dexadrine and Dexostat.
There are other kinds of medication types that are becoming more prominent. These are nonstimulant, and depression medications. The nonstimulant medications, such as Concerta, are now being more widely used. Although there are a lot more tests using stimulant medications, it is now becoming clear that some people respond just as well or better to the nonstimulant medications. For these people, any negative side effects that were caused by the nonstimulant medications can be avoided.
These are some frequently asked questions and answers about medications such as.
· Q: How long does it take to achieve a therapeutic dose of medication?
· A: The effects of stimulants are usually noticeable within 30-60 minutes.
· Q: With non stimulants it can take 3-4 weeks to take full affect. These medications usually take a few weeks to get the right dosage for each individual.
· Q: As my child grows, will the dosage need to be changed?
· A: It is not always necessary to change the dosage, Many adults and adolescence have been on the same dosage for years with no need to increase, or change it.
· Q: Will my child continue to take medication forever, even into adulthood?
· A: No not necessarily. Sixty seven percent of children with ADHD continue to show symptoms into adult hood.
· Q: Should medication only be taken when the child is in school?
· A: This is decided by the therapist and by the parents. It is often times a of more benefit if they continue to use the medication at home also.
· Q: What about the individuals that do not respond to medications, either pschostimulants or antidepressants?
· A: In general, at least two or three different psychostimulants should be tried before it is determined that they are not helpful.
It should also be revaluated to be sure that is the case that they really have ADHD. It may be that they have been miss diagnosed. Some other disorders will mimic this disorder or they may have another disorder that is causing the problems.
· Q: Are children who take psychstimulant medications more likely to have substance abuse problems later in life?
· A: No. Multiple studies have shown that people with ADHD on prescribed medications, not only do not have a substance abuse problem but they even have a lower chance of suffering from a substance abuse problem in the future.
For children that have ADHD there are medications with time release properties. This helps to alleviate some of the problems with the medications dispensed at schools. This can help to give the teachers and nurses more time to work with the individual children and to help to make sure there is an even dose delivered all day.
Many adults that have this disorder are not diagnosed correctly. Often, they find out that they are affected when there children are diagnosed. They may discover that they share many of the same symptoms as there ADHD diagnosed child. It is now becoming more apparent that both adults and children alike are affected. ADHD is rarely outgrown with age, but continues on through out the life of the affected person.
People who are affected by this disorder may qualify for programs to help the disorder. This aid comes in two forms: Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. This act guarantees children with ADHD a Free and Appropriate Public Education (FAPE). Both of these require that the person applying meet certain requirements. Parents of ADHD children need to be aware of these programs, and weigh both the benefits and the drawbacks.
One of the main things that one should be aware of as a parent or a person with the disorder is that 67% of all people with ADHD also have a coexisting disorder.
These include Disruptive Behavior Disorders, Mood Disorders, and Anxiety Disorders, Tics and Tourette’s syndrome and learning disabilities.
Disruptive Behavior Disorders: Affect about 40% of all individuals with ADHD have oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). 25% of children 40-50% of adolescence and 20-25% of adults have Conduct Disorder. These two disorders are often over looked and should be carefully considered when assesing people who have ADHD. When treating ODD/CD, it is very important to discourage delinquent behaviors, to allow that person to repeatedly choose pro-social behaviors. Patients with ODD/CD usually require strong, clear structure with reinforcement of appropriate behaviors, as well as positive behavior management plans to extinguish antisocial and potentially harmful behaviors and correct their social behavior and thinking.
ODD involves a pattern of arguing with multiple adults, losing one’s temper, refusing to follow rules, blaming others, being deliberately annoying to others, being angry, resentful, spiteful, and/or vindictive.
Another Disruptive Behavior Disorder is Conduct Disorder (CD). CD often involves trying to break rules without getting caught. Some examples are: being aggressive to animals or people, skipping school, running away, destroying property, lying or stealing and breaking curfews. CD frequently is a serious problem and is described as delinquency in children with ADHD.
It has been shown that children with both ADHD and CD are twice as likely to have trouble reading then children with ADHD alone. The children affected are also a lot more likely to fail either emotionally or socially. Research shows that in those ADHD and CD students treated with stimulant medications, they were not only more attentive but less likely to display antisocial behaviors.
Mood disorders also accrue in a lot of people with ADHD. Besides being inattentive, hyperactive and impulsive they seem to have mood problems. Some of these can include the symptoms of crying daily, unexpectedly, out of the blue, irritability, mania, sad depressive moods or exhibiting mood swings mood swings. All of these can cause problems at work, school and in family and romantic relationships.
ADHD is a commonly occurring disorder that should be treated. It has many offshoots that can complicate it, and can be greatly improved by the right help medications, and/or trained and well informed people. If left untreated, it can cause a widely differing level of emotional and social damage. If you have ADHD or think that you might, you should seek the advice of a medical professional. Treatment may just help you better your life and the relationships you currently have and will have in the future. This is not just a disorder that affects children. It affects adults to.

#100

Well it has been 100% proven that I have altogether way to much time on my hands. This is my 100th post already. Yes for some it seems like a lifetime and for others it seems like a day.

I fall into the latter of those two catagories. I have been here just blogging my brains out way way way to much.

To infinity and beyond. Life goes on and I'm still here and will continue to be. You can't rid yourself of me that easy. I am a blogging maniac. So I'm on my blogging hi for now I got my fix for the moment so I'm outa here. Go see Rachel she is the one for me! You may just see what I posted on her blog.

Well well well

That didn't seem to be to good. I was here early and I mean early after next to no sleep. Do you know what happened? She told me I could turn it in late and get half credit for it. So I donno she might give me some extra credit work but it is gonna be killer if she does. I don't really care though. My grade in chem really sucks so now I got a long hard climb to get myself out of the mess I put myself in. Yep that is how it goes. I should have definitly started off getting ready to jump in and really work it but I fell a little behind and gave up. I got a 60% on my test. That is the worst I've ever gotten on a test that I actuall tried on. I donno how I'm gonna bounce back but I will.

I'm gonna talk to the people at SEBAS the place where I have to go for counseling and see if I can get back on Adderall. It seemed to really help me to focus. It might help me with my homework to. I do seem to get distracted very easily most of the time.

Well chem is crappy and english is the worst. Not only do I not like it but we have this crazy teacher that is really really confusing. We haven't really had to do much so it is all good I guess. I just dont wanna see what it looks like in eng 102 with a real teacher when i haven't learned anything. I am not hte best writter.

Well that is obvious because no one cares to even read my blog. Life goes on.

At school It is early

Well I'm at school way early today. I have no clue how I was suppose to have done my homework. So here I am to get some know how from the teacher. The teacher just hasn't gotten here yet.

The possibility of my own place is increasing. The friend Jennifer that I would be moving in withs brother works with me. He is gonna try to get me some more hours so I will be able to make the rent. That is really good. So I hope I can get it to work.

Rachel is gonna be gone for a week:-(. I will just have to pout. I talked to her for hours last night and only slept for 2 hours so I'm a little tired. It was way worth it. So we are officially together now. That takes alot of wounder out of things.

I think that a girl at my work wants me and is jelous of her. It is really funny. Russ (jennifers brother and my coworker) thinks I should see where that goes but I have way way to much to lose. I wouldn't do anything to jepordize me and Rachel.

Well maybe you are smartening up just a little there Mr. Math. You've been doing a little better but you are still a goof.

Well i must be doing something right. Is that a complement there?

To fall or not to fall?

I am really syarting to have the more than like feelings for this Rachel girl. I donno it is kinda scary. Last time I just let myself fall totally it hurt

Quit being a chicken. Just tell her how you feel. She will understand. You can not make a mistake from the heart. Just let it take its course. It will be well worth it in the end. NOW DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

Morning!

!Buenos dias! ?Como estas? ?Bien?

!I know, I know, that whole "!/?" before the words doesn't look so good, but I don't really know how to make it work short of translating it somewhere else, and then pasting it on here! !I think I'm gonna start putting the "!/?" before everything in ENGLISH too! It just makes more sense...

??????Homework?????WORK work????????Cheesecake for your mom?????!!!!!Yummy!!!!!

Well, good morning in any case, Mr. Math! Enjoy your day!

Hello

well well well I have to go to work early. I gotta get up by six!!!!!!!!!!

Well life goes on

well work is closing in on me. I've been at the computer working on my paper now I fell into the internet. I need to either get the heck outa here or take less classes. So I'm outa here I gotta keep up with the classes I have.

Classes are good I have over a ninty percent in my pschology class. The rest of them are coming along good to.

So I'm woking like crazy to tie all the loose ends up with getting my own place, school and work. Oh and the Rachel thing. I donno what all is happening right now but we are on our break. By decision not by force or bad temper. So it is good to have no pressure and have life be a little easyer even if it is not as fun. So I'm gonna gfet to that homework and then ponder my current situation.

Love is one heck of a crazy road. I'm just hitting the offramp to get on to it and am overwelmed. Hey that is the way that it goes sometimes. The brakes could be my only hope but I like the thrill and wanna see where it leads me. So down the ramp I go?

Gotta go the homework is calling me.

Morning Comes

Well it is morning here. I just got up fed the horses and let the dogs out. Now I'm back in bed. So I'm outa here gonna get up and do some homework before work today.

Well I stole again

That’s it that is one heck of a sorry day of homework. I only read two of my three parts of the psychology that I have to but I still haven’t gotten to any of the other homework that I’ve been meaning to.

I am the head procrastinator. I don’t have much of a life yet still manage to put off my homework until it is time to go to work. Yes I know I should be doing that not this but at least. I see that I have stayed away from www.runescape.com today and did not get killed. So life goes on and I guess I’m outa here to get ready for work. I gotta get all kinds of music downloading to tie up the phone for my mom once I go to work.


HA HA HA. Yes I know I’m a pain and since we are not networked you will just have to get over it.

stolen time

well here I am I stole a few minutes. I have escaped the grip of the homework only to write a short post. Well so I have not much news. I haven't talked to Rachel today. It happens I guess and I haven't gone through withdrawls yet so I guess I will survive. I'm gonna try to talk to her tonight and that should be good especially since I may acctually have something to say. I'm working tonight from 3 to 9. I love it. So I will have just a little bit o money. So thats it for the stolen time.

What does everyone think. I love being able to share my life and be able to share it with Rachel!

Blogging maniac on the loose!!!!!

Special bulletin!
This just in! A psycho-blogger has been spotted near Benson! Sources cannot confirm his whereabouts, but do claim he stalks his 'friends', using their wireless internet, waiting for that rush that IS the blog.
In a recent survey, 1 out of 1 citizens claim to like blogging. Many researchers (ummm...just me actually) cannot confirm these statistics, because...well...we (and when I say "we", I really mean "I") just don't know if they really exist! But, the question is: What makes this psycho-blogger different from the rest of the population??
Is it his witty need for attention? Or his psycho-stalker coming forth, to terrorize those who read his blog? Or maybe....No! It can't be! Can it?? Maybe......Maybe he just likes to blog?
Well, no matter what the reason is for THAT, we can only conclude that this psycho-blogger must be a real fruit-cake to let me even write in his blog! :-p

P.S. Mr. Math, you can just delete this... :-p

Blogging frenzy

Hello there. Hey there. Here I am. Just got here. Yep it happens. Well here I go.

So nothing much has changed here. So life goes on and I’ve been blogging all day. So I made up for all the days I didn’t say much. So here it goes I have fallen for this Rachel. So now I have to just figure out the rest of my life.

So with that I donno I’m gonna just see how it goes for a little while and then I’ll adjust. So then I’ll just figure out. So here I go I’m trying to get out of here for the however many number of times.

I know that I am not the best at studying. So here I am still. I still didn’t get out of my blog even though I’m off the net talking to Rachel. So I still haven’t even thought about doing my homework. So I’m just going to stay away from my computer. Except for blogging for just a few minutes and getting right back offline.

So I’m gonna get to doing something so I’m outa here.

Life goes on and I’m in ….? What am I to do? I know that I wanna get to the bottom of this but am not sure how. I want to do it right though not rush anything. So I’m gonna just give it time.

So I’ll just let it go on and I’ll hope for the best. I will shape it as best I can. So now it is the time to sit back and see. I know that it is just the best thing to do to keep it. I’m afraid to lose yet another one. It is a good thing and now I’m gonna just try the best to keep what I have is to keep it together. So now I’m off to give myself some time so that I can talk to her without worrying about what else I have to do. So that’s it I’m outa here to free up some time and better myself by doing my homework. Bye for now.

I’m outa here. So bye for now I think the blog frenzy is drawing to and end. Maybe, maybe not. I will just have to do what I need to and then see how I am feeling about it. So it goes on and I’m outa here. Bye for now. Well it goes on that I have managed to keep myself from getting on to my homework. Yes tis true. I have gotten it underway. The homework. So I’m outa here. Good bye.

Well time goes on with or without me and without any concern for what I am doing or what I need to do. It knows only what I have done. Time comes and time goes so now I’m gonna go since the time is just passing me by and I should be able to move it with it. I gotta get the time in the basket. So I’m off to ride it. Homework USA here I come just saying hi with you.

Here we go. My life back on track? We may never know unless I finally get the heck out of here and get to doing my homework. My life and the blogging goes on? Well I think so. Now I’m moving on.

In Benson

Well I’m back. Well not really I’m in the truck in benson. So here I sit just waiting for my mom to be done in ACE. So here I am. I donno I need to start on my homework as soon as I get home. Oh boy. I think I’ll post this first and then I’ll do the homework thing. Yes it is kinda boring to do but I need to definitely catch up on some. It will be quite a way to go but hey it happens. I started all this school stuff so I gotta get to it. I already had to talk to the Rachel so that we didn’t spend all the time on the phone that we had for homework.

I hope that I can get this going with my own place. I need to find some more money quick. I need to pay the insurance on the truck and I also need to come up with not only the rent but at least part of the security deposit for the utilities. So there I go I have a lot of stuff to think about and do.

I’m on my way over to the feed store with my mom maybe I can work out at least a part time going on with the owner. Ed (the owner) is a friend of the family and has been for years. So he should understand and I know that I really really need the money. So we’ll see.

So I’m outa here for now so here I go. To Levi’s house to blog this.

Home work no work

Well here I sit trying to figure out how I can get my mom to relize that it is a good idea to network our computers so that we can get the internet for both of us without using both phone lines. She seems to think that I am gonna somehow corrupt her computer. I know that it is not the easiest to admit your wrong. It will hurt nothing to network them. If she would just try it she would see. She thinks that the only reason I wanna do it is so that it will be more convenient. If that is her whole thong then I will do it with the cable not wireless. I know that it is a little weird but doesn’t it make sence? What should I do?

Me and the mystery girl are gonna start kicking back a little and give things a little time because if we rush into it it will be fun but go away way to fast. We are just gonna give it a little time to see how it looks and feels from a little different angle. I think that is a good idea so that we can get an idea of what we want out of it and then go from there. So life goes on I can’t be on the net much today because I’m gonna sit around doing nothing much and see if my boss ever calls.

The place. I got that figured out just about everything. I just need to be sure that I’m gonna be able to afford it and also that I really wanna live with Jennifer. She is pretty cool but I don’t wanna go from here to a place that I really hate. It would just be tourture to have to stay there because of a lease. I have to much going on some say I say not enough. All I need now is a drivers license.

I have to call Heidi today. For all my long tearm readers that is the school counseler lady that I was talking about. I thought was very good looking. I donno I’m off of what I was gonna say but oh well. If you don’t like it don’t come back.

See you all on the flip side or not I don’t care.

Finally you grow some balls. You need to just man up stop whining and do it. If she doesn’t want you to network it prove that it is a good idea. Then if she still doesn’t want to let you do it anyway. This whole thing with your mystery girl and keeping it secret just let the cat out of the bag or wait I will. Just tell them all its Rachel. So if you want to keep it secret do it somewhere else. Quit being a push over and do what you want to when you want to if it is not really going to get you in trouble. Life goes on stuff happens and you get over it. So get the heck over it.

So I’m outa here thanks for your impute Mr. English. I donno if I will do all that but hey maybe I will.

Invitation

Well, I finally got the little email, and so...I decided to post on YOUR blog. Crazy! Talk to ya laterz!

On the phone

well I'm on the phone with the mystery girl

At school again

well here I am at school again I gotta get my homework underway and then I'm gonna finish up my presentation for the paper that I got away with not presenting. Hey its a hard job but someone's gotta do it. I got just about everything set up to move out. I just have to really rethink it and then call my PO. So I donno life is good it goes on. Whitey is right http://www.whiteyforgot.blogspot.com/ I haven't really been blogging I've been doing it for others it is for me.

So this mystery woman and I spent the day together yesterday. It is amazing how little homework we actually got done but we had fun. We have set a little bit of a time restriction on ourselves. We are gonna only talk on the phone for an hour a day unless we have Both finnished our homework. It feels so real so I'm a little nervous. I don't know what to do. I wanna just go for it but don't really know how to or if it will help or hurt if I just let my gaurd totally down.

She is one heck of a woman and I know this. It is hard for me to stop thinking about her sometimes. But hey life goes on. If it is real all that it will do is help us to get a better idea of it by taking time. If it isn't then it may just save us a heck of alot of pain.

I hope that it is real. I want so bad for it to be. Well I'll let it flow as it comes. I gotta go for now. If I don't have all of my homework done I'll get cut short. What a motivater. Whoa that was long and involved I feel great. I've fallen and don't wanna get up. EVER.

Don't be a chicken. Just see where it leads. Life goes on. If you screw this one up we are really gonna be in the pits. I know that you are confused but get over it! NOW! You will survive. Just let your gaurd down tell her how you feel be honest. It cannot hurt you to be real with yourself and others.

Well I'm outa here for now. Man its only been 1 day since I saw her and I really miss her already. Homework here I come :-(

Paper? what paper?

Hey blogging again. So here I am I got my paper done and didn’t have to present. Hey it works for me I’m gonna polish up my presentation. I’m outa here Gotta get to cramming for chemistry.

School School & more school

Well I'm here at school stealing away from my research paper so that I can blog a little. I've got it bad I needed my blogging fix. So I'm here for a minute. I've gotten 2.1 pages of my paper done. So I'm further than usual. I'm starting to fall into these good study habits. It's hard for me but I'm getting it.

So I'm gonna get to see the mystery girl again tonight. YES. She makes school alot more bearable. I donno what else I'm gonna be doing after class. Today is the first and I gotta at least call my boss. Oh boy. At least Iget paid to do something besides sit around.

I wish I got paid to do homework. If I did I would sure have alot more money. The job that I got isn't bad it is even fun to wash dishes sometimes and the time goes by fast. Especisially when I don't wear my watch.

Well it's about time you got off of your lazy butt and did something. You finnially are doing something you sorry shmuck . So now all you have to do is get outa here and do your research paper. Be gone!

well I'm outa here for now I gotta get to that research paper. So I'm gone. Yes the mystery girl is not only an amazing woman but also makes me do my homework.